In short, the first impression I left with the people I've built up a successful relationship with have not been written off the book. That radiant smile, perfect opening, and those hearty handshakes were not the reason why I left an impression. This klutz made an impression for completely different reasons. While I literally fell on my head, or did something so incredibly stupid that you almost can't believe it, things went very different.
The candidates that have coffee with me and act just a little different leave me with a decisive impression. I can remember them just as quickly. The perfect resume, perfect suit, the best answers; these mean absolutely nothing to me. But candidates who have distinguished themselves by their own personal qualities? These are the candidates who I remember.
Now that social media plays a huge role in our lives, we quickly form first impressions of people – from their LinkedIn profile, their Facebook profile, Twitter updates, and so on - but the first personal encounter is what REALLY makes a difference. Of course, you do not always have the ability to influence your first encounter. However, there are a number of things you can do to prepare so you can create a natural and unique impresstion without fumbling behaviour.
Shoulders back, chest up, lips pursed
Sounds natural, but standing upright with your shoulders back makes you about 30 percent more receptive than if you adopt a 'collapsed' attitude. It also gives your confidence a boost when you can easily breath – yes, opening up your breathing gives you a smaller chance of speaking in a choked voice through the nerves. Therefore, you can also more easily be yourself.
Think of a toothpaste advertisement, and smile!
When you're nervous, your body tenses up automatically. This also happens to your mouth, making your smile seem like its 'exaggerated.' You need to make sure you relax before you enter the conversation. Make sure there is no dirt or food particles between your teeth, or lipstick stains. As werid as that sounds, a good smile relaxes your face. Making sure you can relax and smile easily will help a person see the real you.
Lights out Spotlight on ... the other!
Why focus on the other person if this is about my first impression? By making the other central to the conversation, and moving the conversation towards personal and business questions, you can show your interest more clearly and you'll instantly be seen as 'nicer'. By giving sincere compliments (without exaggeration, or else you'll come across as a sycophant) you create trust and understanding between yourself and someone that you find interesting. Listen carefully, play on what they say, and if it plays out right, make some jokes. Show interest, and search for direct comparisons with yourself. When you can find common ground, you can move onto the 'real' conversation.
There are three simple tips that you can easily apply and ensure that you present yourself as yourself. Be honest, sincere, and move yourself quickly into the spotlight. It's also useful to know what NOT to do.
You're acting like an ostrich.
Put your head in the not-so-proverbial dirt. Looking down when you speak with someone can be a big turn-off in conversations, and doesn't show your interest. If you find it hard to look at someone in the eyes, then look at their nose bridge. It seems as if you're looking at them intently, but you do not need to necessarily establish eye contact. It is an easy technique.
Playing the journalist
Forcing yourself to ask questions and end with a 'Yes thank you,' while noting the answer down can be a huge clincher. It comes down to finishing a checklist where you want to put check each sucessive point down the line. Make sure you listen to the question and ask further questions through your answer. Make sure it's a smooth conversation and ask OPEN questions. A yes/no game is not only uncomfortable for you, but it's also quite boring for your partner.
Acting with a mask
If you are not yourself, because of an ill-fitted suit, or a skirt that is too tight, or you're pretending to be someone you're not. Forget it! The impression you leave is 'fake.' By doing this, you come across as not really caring about the perfect answers. This leaves your conversation partner with a feeling that 'this is wrong'.
Good luck in making your next first impression, regardless of whether it's a perfect first impression or a total failure. Without try to achieve goals you're going nowhere. When something goes totally to the pot, you know at least one thing is certain; That impression? You've certainly made it!
Annelies Graafland-van der Zanden
Senior Recruitment Consultant Finance